Anyone who knows anything about me or has seen any of my
social media knows that I am constantly on a search to better myself. My children would probably tell you that I am
NOT doing a good job with it. I am
inclined to agree with them. As much as
I try to better myself as a person, I know there is ONE thing that I cannot
seem to get under control. That thing is my reaction to any and all stress
factors. And in that reaction usually
comes my mouth. I need a lot of work on my mouth. I am very, very guilty of snap reactions and
I can promise that no one could ever accuse me of being patient. I am not a
patient person. This, unfortunately, is
reflected in my everyday life and my relationships with people, though I am
considerably more patient with my friends than I am with my family. I struggle with this greatly. As I get more involved in my church and on a
better path in a lot of other ways, this is one path I can’t seem to stay
on. Believe it or not, I work very hard
to try and control this and the guilt is something I feel every single
day. I am very good at justifying my
behavior, even when I know I am doing it. Well the kid has now been told 8
times to do something and hasn’t done it.
I just wanted this one little thing to get done and it hasn’t been. I’m sick of listening to his or her
excuses. They just aren’t moving fast
enough (most often in the morning, trying to get out the door).
Patience is a daily struggle. I’ve been tested on it many
times and came out with my sanity somewhat intact, so I guess I consider that a
win, but it isn’t necessarily a victory.
I have a poster on my wall of the Great Wall of China and under it is
the quote by Lao-tzu “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single
step.” I know that, better than a lot of
people. My weight loss journey, for example,
is certainly a thousand miles. I’m only a little more than half way there and
it’s already taken me several years. Believe
me when I say that my impatience has to be violently shoved back down my throat
when I meet people who lost twice as much in just a matter of months. How unfair is that! But it’s not. It’s not unfair. Maybe those people were blessed with rapid
weight loss, but maybe they don’t have a big (could be beautiful) house like I
do or maybe those people were blessed with unexpected money but they don’t have
the kind of friends that I have. Everyone
has a story and that is something I do remind myself of when patience takes a
hike. I guess I have improved my
patience a little then (who knew!), because years ago I certainly didn’t care
about another person’s story. But
overall, my patience is something I seek to change daily. So be patient with me (the hypocrite) as I
try to work on that, and don’t be afraid to give me little nudges to let me
know when I am overreacting. I can’t promise that I won’t overreact then to
your nudge, but I CAN promise that it will give me food for thought later on.
